café

Mind if I reminisce?

I fondly remember the first time I went to a coffee shop.

I don’t remember what year it was or exactly who I was with, only that I had an Ernest Hemingway (if I remember correctly, it was strikingly similar to ipsento’s sandwich by the same name: salmon, egg, cheese, and capers on a croissant) and loved it.

I’m sitting here at ipsento in Chicago, a great deal of time, experience, and coffee-shop perusing later…remembering that first time.

I was in Washington, D.C., on a school trip. I and some friends were walking around downtown and decided to stop for breakfast.

We walked into this smallish bookstore after its corner café caught our eye, deciding to take advantage of the big city.

Wonderfully downtown, wonderfully expensive, and wonderfully the first coffee shop I had ever been to.

I didn’t even have coffee. Just a really tasty fish sandwich named after the guy who wrote The Old Man and the Sea and the fun of being with friends.

It was a moment of the pleasantness of innocent youth, seemingly unmarred by the brokenness that so pervades the human experience.

Why can’t all of our memories be so…happy?

The simple answer?

We would be terrible people. God loves us, and doesn’t want us to be that selfish, so He matures us through suffering. He gives us contentment, peace, even joy in the midst of the suffering. He brings us out on the other side more loving, more thankful, even more joyful. Don’t believe me?

Ask God about it, then. He’s always available to talk to. There’s no special formula or phrase or belief system by which alone you can access Him. He is there, now, loving you. Ask Him about it.

I strongly suggest that anyone read the letter in the Bible called
1 Peter.

And guess what? Sitting here at ipsento, enjoying a hot chocolate and writing…I appreciate it far more than I did the experience in D.C.

Perhaps it’s because the bits of suffering I’ve been through since then have made me a little less selfish and ungrateful.

Perhaps the good God who loves everything He created has used suffering to make me just that little bit more joyful.

Love God. Learn through suffering.

Savor life.

a blog and its title

I really didn’t hesitate when picking the title for this blog. I was deeply touched by the words of a friend of mine in an anonymous piece of art he drew/wrote/prayed at a gathering when I first arrived in Chicago. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it went something like this:

“Daddy, what would it be like to be truly and wholly dedicated to you? I would be fluid change…”

and he went on. This simple phrase, “I would be fluid change,” profoundly challenged my thinking about myself. Do individuals really have that much room to improve, that an unbroken connection with God would cause unceasing change?
And the answer came, “Of course, Jordan.” The simple fact is that the blackness of the human heart is vast, and that life, for those of us who have been awakened to the reality of absolute Truth’s personal identity, is a struggle to relinquish our selfish sinfulness to He Who is Love, namely, Jesus of Nazareth.
And that’s really the point, isn’t it? God is Love! There is no logical reason for any human to ravenously strive for his own independence, because simply giving ourselves up wholly to the One who infinitely loves us will bring the most complete joy and peace to our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering, the joy and peace that come from becoming like Jesus.
Therefore, the title for this blog, fluid change, is a reminder for me and for anyone who reads it that the ideal life is one lived in love, joy, peace, patience (longsuffering), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It my personal catalyst for endeavoring to let myself go and give myself up to the only perfect Being and Lover. It is the unachievable and noble goal of my existence on this planet. I live to love like Jesus, that many may be helped as I reflect that perfect, unconditional love to the world and am progressively refined into an ever purer reflection.
Friends, enemies, and all others: I love you. Forgive me when I mess up. No matter what I do, the Messiah (the Christ) remains perfect. Know that without Him I would not care as I do about you, nor would the world even exist. You have been given this day as a gift from Him, and that gift is immeasurable. Use it well, for many are suffering.